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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888250">ALone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananapie42/pseuds/bananapie42'>bananapie42</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>12 prompts of Christmas 2020 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Christmas, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Sad, Sad Ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:07:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>750</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888250</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananapie42/pseuds/bananapie42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Percy's first Christmas since Annabeth has passed away.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>12 prompts of Christmas 2020 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2041557</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>ALone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I honestly didn't think writing this would hurt me and make me feel better all at once. <br/>I recently lost my best friend, my dog, to cancer only two months ago and I miss him every day. The death was sudden and I'd never experienced anything like it before, so it was all new and confusing, and honestly, it still is. </p><p>At some point, you might be able to tell when, I started to draw on my own experiences with the grieving process, so I guess this is based on real feelings, to an extent. </p><p>This does deal with mourning and mourning only, so please please please take that with a grain of salt. </p><p>And to anybody who is going to have their first Christmas without someone special or important to you, I am truly and deeply sorry for your loss. This year has been tough on everybody and doesn't seem to let up. </p><p>Prompt: It's person A's first Christmas after a tragedy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Percy didn’t put the Christmas decorations up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to, he really did, but it just… wasn’t right. Annabeth would always tell him where something should go, how it should look, and why it was the best place to put it there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she couldn’t this year. He had the freedom to decorate the house any way he wanted and it was overwhelming. He tried to remember where she had him put them last year but no matter what he did, it just wasn’t right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t listen to Christmas music. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not that he didn’t enjoy it or anything, but it felt wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Annabeth would always hum and sway around to different Christmas songs, he was pretty sure she didn’t even know she was doing it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One year, a group of carolers came up to their house and he’d never forget the way her eyes just lit up with joy. She loved those songs so much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t bake anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was a good baker, he was always the one making cookies and loaves of bread, but Annabeth would always decorate them. Percy couldn’t decorate for shit, and she’d always remind him. But he’d still end up helping her anyway and it would always end in giggles and candy being thrown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes when he was baking, she was walk up from behind him and slide her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly and complimenting his hard work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t buy gifts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a well-known fact, Percy Jackson is horrible at finding gifts for people. Even if he’s known them for years. He just can’t do it. Annabeth would always take him out shopping, helping him find the perfect gifts for their friends. She’d hold his hand and lead them all around the mall, a smile on her face the whole time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t see friends or family this year. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows he should, it might help him, but it’s too hard. They all eventually get that same look in their eyes, whether it’s empathy or pity, he doesn’t know. But he can’t stand it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Annabeth cared so much for their friends and she always threw the best Christmas Eve parties with them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no Christmas party this year. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were no decorations. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were no songs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were no cookies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And there were no gifts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just Percy Jackson, sitting on his couch and eating popcorn, alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been Percy Jackson alone for a few months. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he couldn’t help thinking he always would be.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shouldn’t have gone on that quest. They were </span>
  <em>
    <span>done </span>
  </em>
  <span>with that life. She insisted that she would be fine and that everything would be okay. She’d be home in time for dinner if everything went right. It was supposed to be such a short quest, it wasn’t fair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It just all happened so quickly, he didn’t even get time to process. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he got the news, it just felt like a part of him was ripped away, he was never going to see her again and he just had to live with that? It wasn’t fair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just the day prior they had been playing a board game and having fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard to live a life without Annabeth, especially when she had become so… constant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was always there and now she could never be again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew that death was normal, death was natural and everybody had their own time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d been the witness to multiple deaths before but he wasn’t… they weren’t as close to him as Annabeth was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt silly to think, but it really was like time just stopped. It didn’t seem fair that the world could keep on turning and Annabeth wouldn’t be there with him. That he’d never be able to wake up next to her again, and he’d never hear her endless nagging. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Annabeth didn’t make him a whole person, but he felt more himself with her than anybody else could ever come close to. He was a version of himself he didn’t know he could be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Many people cried people he didn’t even expect to cry. Everybody cried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Percy wailed. He screamed, he clung to himself, he couldn’t even talk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was the hardest day he has ever had to live through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And every day it just seemed to get harder and harder. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It was Christmas Eve and he had never felt more alone in his life. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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